How to buy a Cheap eBay Bikes

(exotic drum music)


– He’s not gonna be out the chair, is he?

He’s just gonna be stuck.

– [Narrator] It’s almost
Christmas and Santa’s elves

are about to go into gift-packing frenzy.

Our GCN heroes are looking for
maximum bang for their bucks,

and 130 bucks, or 100 pounds,
doesn’t go an awful long way.

But just how far does it go?

Let’s find out.

– Right, let’s see what you boys have got.

Are those Gucci shades?

– Oh, hold on a minute.

– Oh no.

– What’s that one on the end?

– There’s some funny shapes.

Right, can we start on the left?

That’s right, we’ve each
been given 100 pounds

by a very kind producer
to purchase or acquire

the fastest two-wheeled
machine that our rather meagre

budget can offer, to carry out some tests.

Matt Stephens and mine.

– Gunwale ties, mate.

High five.

– What I’ma do, I’m gonna
tighten the excitement

by giving you a slow reveal
of mine, if that’s alright.

– [Presenter] Like a strip tease?

A vintage?

– [Presenter] I thought it
was a triple for a second.

(playful music)

– There she is.
– Wow, look at that, mate!

– Look at that, I’m proud.

(cheery music)

Well this is my beauty.

Baby blue ink colour, it’s
a Carlton, made in England,

probably, I think, from the early 1980’s.

Look at the rake on those
forks, look at the large

flange hubs, look at the
Raleigh chain set, basically.

It’s a 42/50, I think,
with 10 speed transmission.

Cogs look pretty big at the
back, but I haven’t been able

to count them ’cause they’re
just a little bit too oily.

But lovely attention to detail
on this, I’ve obviously got

clips and straps, I think
these are 28 mil gunwale tyres.

These are original, slightly
perished at the side

which is a slight concern,
but look at these beautiful,

centre pull breaks made by Weinmann, okay,

but look at these satellite
shifters I have here as well.

Satellite braking for when I’m climbing,

so hope I don’t really need.

Do you know what?

She’s gonna fly.

– [Narrator] Matt likes a
Carlton and I like Matt, too,

but when it comes to striking a pose,

Matt, as ever, misses the bus.

(silly music)

– Alright then, guys, you are gonna be,

you’re gonna be a little bit
nervous when you see this

’cause, uh, ’cause I think
this is gonna be fast.

Check it out, we got disc brakes, oh yeah.

– [Presenter] Discs!

– [Presenter] Oh my word.

– A Gryphon.


I’ve even got a pannier rack.

– [Presenter] Did you
think it was graphene?

– This is my Carrera Gryphon,

and that’s Gryphon, not graphene.

Actually it’s made out of
aluminium which I just found out,

but nevertheless, this
is a serious bit of tip

for a serious rider, I really
need to win this challenge.

I’ve not won one since 2014
which is a longer drought

even than Cannondale-Drapac, but this,

this is the bike that’s gonna do it me.

It’s a very modern bike,
got 16 gears, disc brakes,

I’ve got a nice wide 20/80
ties and even when you start

looking, got aerodynamic
rims, and in fact,

an aerodynamic down tube,
which is slightly ruined,

I’ll admit, by that mud guard but anyway,

it’s aero, that’s all we need to know.

There is one slight problem, and that is

this horrific-looking steerer extender.

Now I’ll admit, when I bought it,

my intention was to flip
the stem and slam it,

get it nice and aero, and
unfortunately I can’t do that,

something about star fangled nut.


That’s …

That means I can’t actually drop stem.


But anyway, I’ve got confidence this is

a mighty bike.

This rear brake isn’t
very good for skids though

– Stand back.


– I hope that’s got a motor, mate,

otherwise that is not a fast bike.


– Please welcome, the Schwinn Stingray.

– It’s a Stingray.

– [Presenter] Seriously, mate,

that is a lot of bike for 100 quid.

– Well this is my Schwinn
Stingray, and to start this,

I’m going to quote directly
from the Schwinn website.

“Part cruiser, part
shopper, 100% muscle bike.”

Now let’s go through a
few of the specifications:

got a big V back drag
handlebar, some long range,

V drag spokes, plus a Big
Boa drag rear tyre, so.

– [Si] A lot of drag then?

– It is a lot of drag,
but I’m mean to my drag,

as you know, Si.

All in all, this comes in at
a whooping 24.5 kilogrammes

which, in old money, is over 50 pounds,

and since I got this even in
this condition at 95 pounds,

that’s less than 2 pounds per pound.

That’s a lot bang for
your buck right there.

(classy music)

– [Narrator] Dan’s bike
doesn’t come with horn, but

(raspberries), he adds a
little toot of his own.

– Oh Christ, whacked my knee.

– [Man] Oh get that wheelie,
pop a wheelie, come on.


– [Presenter] Right so,
tell me what you’ve got

to explain these, mate.

– This, again, was 100
quid, slightly more than

that delivered, and it’s got three wheels.

– [Presenter] Ho, ho!

– Bosch!

– Well, you know, it’s got a
three speed Sturmey-Archer hub.

– It’s got quick release.

– It’s got a beer, it’s
got a beer container.

– I think that’s the allen
key that’s got stuck in there,

mate, that’s not quick release.

– [Presenter] (laughing) That’s amazing.

– I’m not sure there’s
much quick about it,

but yeah, this is my bike.

This is my Pashley Picador trike.

That’s right, it has got
three wheels, apart from that,

I’ve not really seemed to
get the hang of riding it.




It’s got three gears,
it’s got two front brakes,

which is new as well as
the three wheel thing.

  3 Ways To Become A Stronger Cyclist

It’s also got this trunk on the back

that it’s presumably quite
good at carrying things.

That’s about it really, I
don’t think I can even ride it.

(laughing) It’s marginally,
marginally slower

than just walking, but we’ll give it a go.

– [Narrator] Strangely, Tom
puts his Aunt Jackie’s ashes

in the trunk, the criminal
mind hides guilt with laughter.


Time to take Jackie for a nervous spin.

(upbeat music)

– Wow.

Yeah, it’s not,

it’s not very good at going right,

even around slight corners.

– Right then, chaps.

Are we going for it?

– Yeah, (sighs), a challenge.

– Okay, you will undertake five challenges

to decide which presenter
and his budget bike

was best value for money, ohhh.

There will be four tests to decide

the start order for the finale.

The winner of each test will win

time bonuses for the last challenge.

– [Matt] Wow.

– Tell you what, that’s-

– That is like four preparatory
rounds then a grand finale,

if that’s what we’re saying?

– I think that’s what this is saying.


– So, as challenge number
one is nearest my bike,

I shall do the honours.

Here we go, test number one, the wheelie.


– [Presenter] The wheelie
king can’t wheelie his bike!

– Kurt Osborne, nicknamed The
Wheelie King, from California

in the United States, is the
Guinness World Record Holder

for the Longest Bicycle Wheelie,
riding on the back wheel

in August of 1998, he rode a
wheelie for a record 11 hours

at the Anaheim Convention
Centre in California.

Who can wheelie the
furthest on their steed?

(excited poppy music)

– [Narrator] Time to find
the answer to the question

that’s been raging on
the GCN notice boards:

who has the biggest wheelie?

– [Matt] Right, looks like it’s me

to start off with the wheelies.

– Go Matt, you can do it.

– Look, watch, and learn.

– [Presenter] How not to do it.

– [Presenter] Good luck mate.

I know that face, that means business.


– [Narrator] Matt doesn’t
have the biggest wheelie,

but he’s pleased with it.

– Si, you’re up next.

– Alright.

– [Narrator] The cyborg
was designed to be both

aero and dynamic, it’s show
time for GCN’s stunt robot.


– Blew my neck.

– [Narrator] Oh, it’s a biggie.

– Right, going down.

– Good luck mate.

– [Narrator] Dan goes OCD as
he cleans the target zone,

not a hair out of place after
a period of no hair at all.


– Whoa, that was nearly two metres!

– [Narrator] Dan sets the bar
high for all Schwinn owners,

and back to the bar he goes,
yet, he just can’t stop.

– [Presenter] Whoa, even further!

– [Presenter] Proper
little bit of lift there.

– [Presenter] Three metres!

– [Narrator] As ever, it’s
a cheeky triple for Dan.

But there’s a younger man
up next, pack it in Dan.

– Slightly nervous about this one.

– I don’t know why, mate,
I think you’ll be fine.

– Just play it safe, yeah.

– You got it in the right gear?

– Look how coarse, I just love how coarse

he has to be on that button.

– [Narrator] Time for Tom
to take granny for a ride,

just checking there’s no puff of dust.

– Go on, Tom, hey, he’s
been out in the, in the Go.

Nice, you gonna lose point
for hitting the GoPro.

– Nah, nah, points for beating you.

– (laughing) That was hilarious.

– [Narrator] And it’s double
helpings for Jackie in the box.

– He’s got more speed,
oh my God, this is …

– [All] Whoa!


– [Presenter] I think it was
about there, wasn’t it, yeah.

– Every time I do this, the
reach gets a little bit shorter.


– [Narrator] The best of the versed.

In these parts, that means top sausage.

Simon had the biggest, just
out of Dan’s spicy salami,

a chipple out of performance from Tom,

and a cocktail sausage from
Matt, but it was chilly.

– Right then, number two.

The bunny hop: The highest
bicycle bunny hop is one metre

45, or 4 foot 9, and was
achieved by Rick Koekoek

in London on the 29th on July 2017.

How high can you bunny hop your bike?

– We shall soon find out, won’t we?

– Who designed these things?


– Right, let’s do it.

– [Narrator] The average
bunny only hops around

three centimetres off the ground,

but can these guys beat
the bunny in public?

– Come on Matt.

– [Narrator] Matt says
he’s aiming to produce

the perfect parabola.

That’s a mathematically
perfect curve, which should see

the wheels horizontal at the median point.

– [Presenter] What d’ya reckon that was?

4 centimetres?

– [Narrator] Well it’s certainly
a load of parabollocks.

– [Presenter] You’ve got a
different foot this time.


– [Presenter] Ready, here we go.

– [Presenter] He’s coming, coming in hot.

– [Narrator] Tom looks
nervous about his first jump.

To succeed, he needs to clear his mind,

listen to the inner self, be
at one with his ancestors,

who are clearly no help this time.

– [Presenter] Look at that, ha, ha, ha!


– [Narrator] Tom now realising

he should’ve gone for a younger model.


– I can’t bend it back.

The pedal’s touching the floor.

– [Presenter] Turn it upside
down, it’ll be alright.


– [Narrator] Tom describes
his ride as quirky,

but it’s a turkey and
the carcass is failing.

(exclaiming and laughing)

– [Narrator] Dan Lloyd is
an anagram of diyna dull.

Time to blow it up and get on with it.

– (grunting and sighing)
God, that wasn’t my best one,

I’ve got one more go, haven’t I?

  Fixie Vs Geared

– [Presenter] Come on, laddie.


– [Narrator] Dan pumping
iron, he performs heroically,

teasing his cruiser into a bruiser.

– Here you go, cycle up, mate.

– Thanks.


– That wheel didn’t quite go up, no.

– [Presenter] Impressive front wheel.

Impressive front wheel.

– [Narrator] Si is a
renowned disco fanatic,

he knows you’ve gotta get up to get down.

– Go on, Si.


– [Narrator] Sadly for our
wheelie king, in this test,

he’s no glorious gainer.

Dan the man, Si the first
two letters of silver,

Matt not glossy, Tom buried
like his aunt should’ve been.

– Challenge number three.


Oh, the track stand.

The current Guinness World Record

for the longest track stand is

21 hours, 34 minutes?

– Well, I’ve got a kick stand.

– [Presenter] I think Tom
could probably do that,

on his for about two days.

– Hang on a minute, hang on,

it says track stand, not kick stand.

Anyways, Jim DeChamp at
Miller Motorsports Park

in Tooele, Utah, on the
18th of November 2008,

for the MTV show Nitro Circus.

How long-

– I think Tom might’ve
won it already mate.

(laughing and chattering)

– I’ve got my kickstand.

– Oh, it’s gonna be close between you two.

It might need to take an extra week.


– I didn’t even think to buy a trike.

– [Narrator] Holding steady
while those around you fail

is a skillset the armies
seek in elite forces.

So who will wear the big pants
and who will go commando?

– [Man] Three, two, one, go.

– [Man] And stop.

– [Narrator] Animal,
it’s the mood Dan adopts

in competition; it’s also the
name of The Muppets’ drummer.

Those arms are busy.

– I’m down.

– [Narrator] Dan Lloyd is
an anagram of all naughty,

but he can’t beat big ears this time.

– I didn’t realise you were
allowed to move forward.

– (laughing) I’ve got third.

– Right then, Lasty,
it’s you and me, mate.

– [Narrator] Matt turns
into a bronzed beauty,

well, pinky bronze.

(chill music)

– I’m just chill, then, I’m sat here,

waiting for the frame to fail.

– Dan, do you think Tom’s got
a little bit of an advantage?

– Well I wasn’t allowed
to use my kickstand.

– He’s so relaxed.

– What, you’re doing well.

– Thanks mate.

– It’s for the extra high handlebars.

– It’s true actually,
it’s quite comfortable.

(playful music)


– [Presenter] What, one-handed?

– Well,

– [Cyclist] Can you do no-handed?


– Ut oh.

– [Cyclist] No, that’s it.

– (sighing) Fair play, mate.

What up, Si?

– There’s bloody good
skills there Tom, seriously,

that’s just off the scale, mate.

Victor, it’s good when you get first?

– Yeah, it’s my first
podium, no, no two thirds.

– [Narrator] A relaxed
yet satisfying effort

from Tom and Aunt Jackie.

Simon with the skills,
Matt with the thrills,

and Dan with the swills,
he’ll drink to that.

– Right, hope for this one
is just about looking cool.

Stopping distance.

It is stated that a bike
being operated should be able

to stop at a speed of 15 miles per hour

within 4.5 metres, which is 15 feet.

What distance will your
bike require to stop

from 15 miles per hour to a stand still,

if you can get your bike
to 15 miles per hour?

We’ve got a downhill, haven’t we?

– A bit dicey down there really.

– [Presenter] Yeah, that is.

– I’m quite confident on this
one, I am quite confident.

– I’ma bit nervous.
– Come on.

– [Narrator] Sometimes a good performance

is all about knowing when to stop.

It’s show time for some proper anchors.

– Are we level with Louis’
front wheel or his back wheel?

(fanfare music)


– Well, I think there aren’t
any words really, are there?

It’s sad.

I think it’s fixable for the final stage.

I was pleased to get the
win on that actually,

that stage, but, you know,
but it was win at all costs.

– [Narrator] The beard and
the weird tie for first.

Matt and Si mistakenly went full beans,

but couldn’t control the gas.

– The final test is the
hill climb, alright?

So this is the final challenge

to decide the overall champion.

Basically it’s the fastest
climb to the summit

of the Campolongo, which
5.8 kilometres in length,

elevation game of 3.53
metres, 11% maximum gradient,

6.1% average gradient.

Who’s gonna be the winner?

– I like the sound of that.

– Yeah, we were each
provided with 100 pounds

to purchase our bike, as we well know.

Now the winner of each test
receives a minute advantage,

and for every pound saved on
your purchase below 100 pounds,

will also receive a minute advantage.

So Dan’s bike cost 95 pounds, he gets,

well he gets 5 minutes.

– [Dan] Yes.

– Which you might actually need
to be honest with you, mate.


Right, let’s do this.

(intense string music)

– [Narrator] It’s time to test
the metal and see who’s nuts,

who bolts, who’s rusty, and
who’s a bit of a spanner.

There’s tension in the
air, you can smell it.

But who dealt it?

– [Man] Three, two, one,



(fast, intense music)

– Pacing, pacing.

– [Narrator] You don’t put a
Greyhound on roller skaters,

you get a lot of effort and not much go.

Straight line pace goes
awol, and pretty it is not.

– Oh my goodness, this
is gonna be a long climb.

(record scratching)

– [Man] Go Lasty, go, go, go!

– [Man] Is that stuff legal, sorry?

– [Narrator] Tom keeps the faith,

he believes this game is
not lost, he also believes

in the tooth fairy and Father Christmas.

  Guide To Buying Your First Road Bike

He should’ve asked Santa for a new frame.

– [Man] Three, two, one, go.

(upbeat music)

– [Presenter] Oh, look at that,
it’s like poetry in motion.

– [Narrator] Sometimes in
life, to get the job done,

you need to find the right tool.

Think of Simon, think right tool.

Think of Tom, think last.

(laughing and huffing)

One target down, thoughts
drift to the chaser.

If he can clear the fear of the rear

from his mind, he’ll be okay.

– I’m nervous about Matt.

– [Man] Three, two, one, go.

– Cheers boys, let me
get these straps on, oh.

– [Narrator] Matt always
fumbles when it comes to straps,

but, once tied down, he usually performs

and today is no different.

(intense music)

Matt starts to look very burn out eno,

but maybe not so much badger as tadger.

Up ahead, Dan turns into
middle distance legend

Haile Gebrselassie or is
that slightly Gebrselassie?

– I can’t see him.

(huffing) I’m at my limit.

I can’t see him.

(breathing heavily) How has he done it?

Oh God.

– [Narrator] Dan tries an
old motivational technique

he uses when he races his own kids.

It’s called shouting.

– (shouting) Not in sight.


A big gap, a big gap.

Come on.

– It’s really sad end.

(intense music)

– [Narrator] You might think Tom brought

a knife to a gun fight, but he didn’t,

he brought a catapult to nuclear war.

Tom says goodbye to
auntie, there’s no music

and curtains with this ceremony,

and no winning ticket from the Tombola.

Dan Lloyd is an anagram of yodelin’ lad.

Well he’s not singing now.

(heavy drumming music)

(groaning loudly)

– First worst.

– [Narrator] Si’s efforts means
he lives up to the nickname

The Ringmaster, that’s
from the circus obviously.

Matt, he’s tested his guts
today, it’s been full gas.

(excited, climactic music)

This winner’s been a long time coming.

Si has broken a duck, got
a monkey off his back,

and he says, knotted the python.

That’s how much effort he’s put in.

– Oh, I can’t believe it,
I thought eight minutes

would be too much to make up
on an athlete like Lloydy,

we saw how fast he was running.

Those tips from GCN mostly paid off,

I’m just so thankful I’ve
broken that three year duck,

(groaning) it feels good.

Go Matt!

– [Narrator] Matt lunging for glory

from an imaginary pack of
opponents with actual talent.

– [Si] Eatin’ a big dog
as well (chuckling).

– [Narrator] Dan Lloyd is
an anagram of oldy land,

but today this mountain
belongs to a younger man.

– [Presenter] Good ride.

– What up, mate?

– [Dan] What up man, you get it?

– I did man, I did, just held off.

– I thought I had it for a bit.

– I thought you had it for a bit.

– I thought you had it as well.

– I beat Lasty, though, have you seen him?

– I passed him on the second corner?

– [Matt] I just passed him
just past the second corner.

He didn’t look to be in great
shape to honest with ya,

it was bitin’ him then anyway?

– [Si] Really?

– [Matt] Yeah.

– [Narrator] Tom abandoned
both his trike and Aunt Jackie.

In life, neither gave him much support,

he’s coping well with his loss.

– Well I tell you what,
chaps, that was quite a race,

and what a bike test, oh my goodness.

– I’ve learned a lot actually

on this challenge, I must admit.

– Yeah, ’cause that’s such
a broad spread of machines,

but ultimately, it was the hybrid,

with only one working disc brake,

that stole the day by a reasonable margin.

– The hybrid being the
world’s best value eBay bike,

but closely followed
by the retro road bike.

– Yeah, I mean

– You pushed it hard.

– Yeah, I had automatic
gears at some points,

it comes decided on declines
which gears it, so it chose

itself, but regardless,
still quite a lovely ride.

– I’ll tell you what though,
that light that you got

free with your bike, is pretty
darn good like as he was

sailing into the distance,
I could see him miles away.

– I could see it as well,
a little marker, yeah.

– I tell you what, perhaps the
most valuable lesson learned

is when buying a bike off eBay,

especially when it’s made out of steel,

– Don’t buy it with three wheels.

– And just check to make
sure it’s not rust through.

– Yeah, and that it’s got
triangle shapes in the frame.

Always helps.
– Yeah.

Still valiant effort, mate.

– Right.
– It was good.

– Just before you pulled that open,

that looked like quite a good champagne,

don’t go too over the
top when you’re spraying,

wanna keep some of that
for drinking, yeah.

– That was the coolest
bike though, wasn’t it?

That was without a doubt the coolest.

– Hang on, hang on, hang on.

(popping and spraying)

– Whoa.


– [Narrator] It was a great effort, lads.


– It’s a screw top.

– You not know it’s a screw top?

Bit wasted.

Cheers mate, and well done.

Right, well I hope you’ve enjoyed

this latest presenter challenge video.

I haven’t sorry much, so
I didn’t win, if you have,

please give it a thumbs up
down below and also make sure

you subscribe by clicking on the globe.

– Absolutely and if you
wanna watch the more

GCN presenter challenges, then why not see

the climbing challenge, find
out who was the best climber,

which I’m still sore about.

– Or for our downhill chainless challenge

in the USA, click just down here.


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